The Mommy Switch

In the last few weeks I’ve been asked several times how I would handle leaving Baby B to go back to work. My Answer: I would be ok. He’s being watched by Grandma, holidays are coming, and I’m pretty strong emotionally. I also know that we are working on a way for me to be able to stay home. I’ve also been asked how it feels to be a mom. My Answer: It’s good. (I really don’t know how to answer that question.)
Part of me has been feeling guilty for not dreading the day I go back to work. Part of me has been feeling guilty for not feeling different now that I am a mom. Isn’t there a switch that gets turned on that makes me an emotional and over-protective mommy? I don’t think it has turned on yet or our hospital stay made me numb or stronger than I thought.

Then we took Baby B to Grandma’s this morning and he stared at me while I went through the basics of his day to day. He stared at me as I tried to leave without crying. As soon as my eyes started to water I ran for the car.

So I am human. I do miss my baby. However, I have been blessed to be tough while I make it through working while we pay off bills and get Mr. H through school. I have been blessed that someone who will love Baby B as much as I do is watching him during the day.