Thursday, July 19, 2012

Life in July

As you can tell we have been oh so busy.  We had our first house party, 4th of July, and it was a success.  Angus has chewed through our Direct TV cable...again.  We've driven to Utah and Grand Junction.  Mr. H is finishing up one term and starting a new one.  All this while I sleep and sleep some more. 

We have 5.5 weeks left until Baby B is due to arrive and we are not quite ready.  I need to get the house ready...I have not nested and that upsets me! There have been a lack of pictures of the round belly and I do not apologize for that.  You know that glow? Yeah didn't happen to me.  Instead I have spots all over my face and ears.  Who wants to take pictures when your face is all scabbed up? Not me!  I'm not trying to be stubborn and not take pictures...I surprisingly want pictures.  But I get upset everytime I see a picture of me now.  Chipmunk cheeks and scabbed face.  I used to be conceded and think that I took pretty good pictures, that I was photogenic.  Now I just want to cry.  I am ready to own my body again.  To feel good about it and want to take pictures again.  You may say that this is the best time and that I shouldn't care about the chubby cheeks or that I'm pregnant and supposed to have chubby cheeks.  But that's not how I feel and I can't change that to please people.  I want nothing but the best pictures.  Other women get to have cute maternity pictures (and you may be thinking mine would be too; let me stop you there, don't you dare say it). It makes me angry when people tell me that I am cute.  And not because I am being a girl and whining about it but because I am fed up with the scabs.